::thE vOid:: |
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huge, empty space where an irritating fly lives in.....devoid of all feelings......
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Tuesday, December 30, 2003
::::happy new yr:::: things to do in 2004 (not in any order): - japanese intermediate course and i will MAKE SURE i get in top ten in school......... - bike driving license (i just registered and classes start on the day he leaves....) - buy a second hand scooter to scoot benji around - do animal grooming and dog training - do freelance graphic design - get more tuition students - find other part time jobs.... - fill up all my days and nights... - continue piano grade 6 (ok mayb have to go back to grade 4) - ignore MDM LIM - seek legal advise on passport - convince dad to throw or sell away the other stupid bed in my room.... - save up for wedding and getting my butt OUT....... - write a book (hahahaha.. im serious) - before writing a book, i need a TABLE......... - therefore the bed has to go so i will have space - treat benji better.. he loves me so much.... i must match his love and hopefully when i get the scooter, he can go everywhere i go........... - treat Nut better... give him more tofu and treats...... - i cant 'filter friends' coz i got so few friends n they are all that makes life worth living other than my pets, my students and my husband-to-be......... all my friends are important... thats y i am considering going to the chalet they are organising... *sniggers* - read more books! improve ur bloody english! - stand my ground that i am NOT looking for full time 9 to 5 kinda jobs... coz i think thats not having a life.. and im only 20........... - sleep late, wake early.. (dont waste time sleeping... when i sleep, i dont make money...) as much as i loathe it, money is ALWAYS a problem..... i need the bike so i can get more jobs done in a shorter time.... and more jobs done mean more income.. and being self-employed in singapore means u have to have ur own transport.. coz ive tried and tested and u cant rely on public transport...... it takes wayyyyyyyyyy tooooooooooooo long coz it's DELIBRATELY INEFFICIENT (the smarter ones would have found this out long ago) the reason why he cant be here is coz of money..... the reason i cant be there is coz of a certain MDM LIM. but whilst im here anyway, i will earn that money WITHOUT the so-called 'establishing ur career'.. and hell i will make sure i earn more than an office job would pay and i wont even need to pay tax or contribute to CPF (which is a scam and people of my age have 50 yrs to retirement supposing they are not planning to migrate.. pls think of this... the govt EATS part of ur pay... CLAIMING they are SAVING IT FOR U and will give it back to u when u retire - i think for my generation, people will have to retire at 70yrs or more... and WAR is coming.... in 10 yrs time...* -those reading this and laughing at me for writing the last sentence, pls open ur eyes before it's too late and start to plan coz big brother is doing weird things.... n by the time it becomes obvious, many people would have lost their lives when they start to wake up..... so if u r laughing at me, i will laugh back at u when it happens...* so when war comes, the FIRST people to SCOOT is the people who behave the OPPOSITE of Aragon in LOTR....... dont understand? ok... Aragon is the KING and we all know it since LOTR 1.... and KINGS, fight TOGETHER with the soldiers......... NOT hide BEHIND the soldiers........... compare Aragon (he is fictional but thats the way Kings or PEOPLE IN POWER should behave)............ to the PEOPLE IN POWER we have here... i dont see the *person who was going to rise in power* FIGHT in the frontline in WW2....perhaps, if Lim Bo Seng didnt die, he would have been the PERSON IN POWER... but that is, IF he is also a freema***............... but yeah... what im tryin to say is, ur money will disappear before u can say 'holy cow!' when lasers rain down on u and when invisible soldiers invade ur homes..... perhaps u may say 'why bother about ur money if there is war? u cant use money in war' HAHAHAHAHAH tht is EXACTLY what MDM LIM said to me....... and i was only 18 yrs old when i pointed out to her....... why dont all of u go think about it? just few weeks back, i had to deposit 2 cheques into my account... no choice coz they were crossed... i deposited the cheques on a thursday......... and when i tried to use my atm card to pay bills on SATURDAY NITE, i couldnt. so i checked the account n found out i had: legal balance: $324 available balance: $74 right..... so it took more than 2 days to put in my money? and it's not as if THEY DIDNT GET THE CHEQUE YET COZ THAT $250 WAS IN MY LEGAL BALANCE ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what im tryin to say is, THIS MONEY IS MINE.... NOT THE BANK'S......... WHY AM I STOPPED FROM USING MY OWN MONEY AS AND WHEN I NEED IT? WHAT IF.... WHAT IF there was an emergency? anyway, my account has only $1.37 now... the 'interests' that they offer is PER ANNUM n it's so bloody insignificant........id rather forgo that teeny amount and HAVE MY SAVINGS WITH ME... rather than leaving them in someplace which is the FIRST to close their doors when emergencies happen (read: war) and they only work till 3pm everyday! WOW! easy living, easy cash! if not for people who insist on paying me by cheque, i would have closed my account long ago........... i wish my country people would start to open eyes and wake up.... and sadly, MDM LIM doesnt see... only my dad sees. im just sorry for my sister who would lose her mom soon. Sunday, December 28, 2003
::::Mdm Lim:::: ive decided from today onwards, THAT WOMAN will no longer be known as M-U-M. she will be referred to as MDM LIM... coz i dont want to refer to her as a BITCH or WITCH for my own protection (u never know if spies and snoopers for her may stumble across this blog and she decides to sue me for defamation.) we met my dad and MDM LIM today...... and she... was a RECTUM.... (being polite here) and what comes out of rectums? yes.... FEACES............ G said my dad was in a difficult position.... and i told him.... 'he is in a difficult position coz HE MADE HIMSELF get into that position..... NO ONE can put u in ANY position except YOURSELF..........' my dad has no backbone and MDM LIM ACCUSED me of 'twiddling ur dad around your thumb'....... pls... SPEAK FOR YOUR OWN SELF, MDM LIM! her attitude, SUCKS. i thot G gave her tooooooooooooo much face. ive wasted my time at MDM LIM's house.. and G has wasted his money coming back.... really... next month, i will be in my 21st yr.... u see what i can do, MDM LIM.... u just wait and see..... im not goin to SIT HERE AND ALLOW U TO BREAK ME......... as the police ASP had said "if u continue to be like this, u will lose a daughter and she will lose a mother" as far as im concerned, all my friends, i DONT HAVE a mother... so pls dont come askin me 'hows ur mom?' coz i dont have any..... Saturday, December 27, 2003
::::whats the date today?:::: uhhh............. ok.. im am back to blogging... i cant have access to the comp everyday tho................. just an update.... -i have diarrhoea... (shat last nite at 11pm, this morn at 3am, 7am and latest at 11.30am.....) i ate the cannon ball pills already......... and will drink lotsa water.. so rest assured.......... -ive been going to many peoples' houses or having dinners at restaurants during this holiday season.... his aunt's place, sue's place (which is more impt to me coz all my frens were there that nite... -most of them la), dinner with his aunt and her husband and her two sons (one with the wife) and his mother, father, all 3 brothers and sis in law at some chinese restaurant in tiong bahru....... and last nite went to his dad's ex-collegue's friend's house.... i like this man.... he has 2 grandsons (the family is eurasian.. the brownish kinda eurasian).. and one boy (i think 7 yrs old or so) named Dylan.... SOOOOOO GOOOD LOOKING!!!!!!!! (felt like kidnapping him.. kekkekekekekekek) but the man (uncle T), is very nice... a very good host... and the food was good too~ *hungry now* -my comp has been repaired by his 2nd brother....... he managed to scan and kill off 600 over viruses...................... (phwaoooorrr!!!!!!!)... before u all think i got it from porn sites, im sorry.... u r wrong........... i got it from kazaaaaa...... -ive been shuttling to and fro EVERYDAY... to timmi and lasse's place and to benji........ and back again to his place............. just to walk them and feed them and make sure they are fine altho my dad takes good care of Benji..... (sometimes he fed benji and i didnt know.. so benji gets to eat twice and he will bang his head against the wall coz i always give better food than my dad does.. and since he ate earlier, he cant eat much anymore... ahahhahahha) i miss benji.....and his irritating-ness... (i can fully understand why timmi and lasse dont like him.. HAHAHHAHAHA) ok.......... i hope my stomach cools down and stops producing watery shits.... (actually that will be the job of the intestines and rectum.... hmMMmmMMMmm) that PIG is still sleepin... suppose to wake at 9am.. and it's now 12.20pm......... later we gonna meet THE Ps.............. (figure that out.. and no... it's not the police) Tuesday, December 16, 2003
::::disown:::: how do i go about disowning my mom? any procedures? anyone knows? i need my life back..... ::::the 'taxi' in my house:::: for the first time in my life, i heard my granny tryin to call Benji.... but what came out from her mouth instead was 'TAXI!' actually sounds more like 'Sexy~' or 'Kek-see~' or maybe even 'Lassie~' anyway, the taxi has learnt how to do a self-service pat.... he will push my hand away from the keyboard with his head and expect me to pat him...... his tail never stops wagging.... he is a TOO-HAPPY doggie... like maybe high on ecstasy or sumthin'..... or maybe the mechanism in his tail is spoilt... will ask the vet when i go with my darling. my dad threw out the carpet.... just as well..... it's mouldy and smelly and growing mushrooms. ::::shitology:::: k, my shit chronicles are back~ i cant shit!!!!!!! kek-sai for 2 days already........ i hope the sai comes out tonite....... i keep farting tho... bathing myself in my own fart..... *delicious* hHAHahHAhahHAHahha *mmfff* the dog show was an eye opener.... altho ive been to one a yr ago, i was only loitering around the obedience and the agility trials..... never watched the confirmation shows before.... hmmMMmmmMm... the only stacking i'd do for benji is to stack his shit, one piece on top of another, and for me to stack on top of him to snooze....... AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA ok.. those show people/dogs, dont ah bish ah bish me........ i just bort two doggie books.... gonna digest them soon~ my darling is coming back in less than 24 hrs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my birthday is in less than 48 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! whooopiee~~~~~ Thursday, December 11, 2003
::::IM FUCKING STUPID:::: i got my japanese results today: written (grammar/vocab) - 97/100 listening - 44/50 dictation - 49/50 oral - 50/50 total - 240/250 im fucking 23rd in position out of fuckin 528 people! and my classmate whom my teacher said will get top, is 2nd! i wanted to prove her wrong, prove all of them wrong, that I CAN BE TOP.... fuck me.. im just fucking stupid. so what if im 3rd in class man.... im not even SECOND ok.. im FUCKING THIRD..... T-H-I-R-D........ what the fuck man....... my dictation has always been perfect ok... 49/50??? listening??? 44/50?????????????? what a joke man........ im a fucking FAILURE.... no one can be as fucked up as me... and i wanted so much for him to be the first one to know my results... maybe we really have no affinity........ his hp is switched off.... i really feel like crying. fuckin failure. Tuesday, December 09, 2003
::::AMENDED WISHLIST AGAIN~!!!!!:::: hahahahahah i bort the trilogy of dave pelzer's.. 3-in-1 book from kino! only about $25!!!!!!! went shopping with K.T today~ and saw something i want~ wishlist: 1. Body Shop White Musk (Eau De Toilette) *note: this is a perfume and not a toilet cleaner... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA* the 30ml bottle is $21.90 and the 60ml is $29.90.... hmMmmm... i think the 60ml is more value for money yeah? sigh... im so smelly... some mild perfume like this will help LOL~ 2. discman/ MD player... *HOW CAN I FORGET THIS????* im dying w/o musik........................................................ 3. The five people you meet in heaven by Mitch Albom i dont wan the dictionary already... LOL~ 4. this is something only ONE person can give me.... that is, a huge hug and a kiss from G......on my bday~ and on xmas....... i just wanna be in his arms.... help me look out for petsitters for the lil devil will ya? Monday, December 08, 2003
::::a child called it:::: okii i got the book~ from popular... i realised my pop-card expired... and i calculated the discount is only less than $2... so forget it~ i paid the full price.. hahahha $18.70 i think.... it's easy reading.... i read for about 10 mins and im at page 30 already.... so it's like... on the average 3 pages per min?? argh.......... i need to SLOW DOWN!!!! i cried reading the part where the nurse checked and recorded Dave's wounds... sigh........ i cry easily. ok so my wishlist: 1. the other 2 parts from the Dave Pelzer's trilogy (The Lost Boy & A Man Named Dave) 2. 5 people u meet in heaven (or something like that) 3. a good dictionary... sigh... why's my wishlist so short? i see my friends' ones soooo long... hmmm.... oh yeah.. i may need to start lookin for a petsitter for benji.. i MAY be going for a 2-3 mth long holiday.. and my dad and his wife will be going to KL on and off too..... nothing's confirmed but im lookin around already. im willing to pay for the service~ do help me look around? Benji's a small sized collie (or a big sized sheltie) and he's very friendly. he eats home-cooked but if it's too troublesome, i may cook few weeks worth of food and put in storage containers for the petsitter to defrost when needed. either that or he goes back to kibbles. paper trained. whot else? uhhh will update the whot elses later~ im going jogging with Benji now... but i think it's going to rain.... hmmm.. shld i? Sunday, December 07, 2003
::::awww man~:::: u guys shld check this out: http://www.zodiackiller.com/ cool shite! and he's still at large!! ::::suddenly...:::: reading hamhams, roanne, joyce, hama etc's blogs, i suddenly miss the times spent with them.... i forget why im online... oh yes... find out about that SF serial killer in 1960's who goes by the ID 'Zodiac'. btw all those who have pets.... look here~ i just received a 15% off voucher from Pet Essentials.... (purchases must be on one receipt).. was thinking we can all go down and get our stuff one day? coz i aint got much to buy anyway and the voucher will go to waste.... it's valid till end of december.... but will be better if we go before 17th or 17th itself~ what sayest thou? maybe 13th or 14th (after gathering or dog show if we going) but... PetE is like..... in bt panjang and both events on the two dates are in the EAST -___-" lemme know, dudettes~ ooo i love to disturb my doggie~ btw, did u know he isnt sexually matured yet? his dingdongs are SOOOOOO microscopic... bWAaahHAhahhAHha hama: if there were angels.....umnn... huh? WOT angels? Saturday, December 06, 2003
Friday, December 05, 2003
::::btw...:::: hahahha so much to write.. anyway talking to joyce now and made me remember something i should mention here (pls read the past entry titled ::::ammended wishlist:::: first.... i rem tearing out pages of Enid Blyton's books when the story is about perfect children in perfect families.. and caring parents and on top of that, they are so kind-hearted that they help some fairy in trouble and the fairy rewards them with something they always wanted and the mom praises them and be so proud of them.... EUUUUCKKKK! i hate i hate i hate!!! and i tore those pages up..... and i hate sweet valley high! i NEVER read any of those but the cover and the title was enough to put me off! the only thing i liked reading about perfect children with perfect families with perfect parents who praise them and spend all their f*cking time with them is when they get murdered..... hahah that explains FEAR STREET........... this prob explains why my artwork is always soooo.......... dark......... gloomy......... this prob explains why i like comics like Johnny The Homicidal Maniac......... i really wonder why i still can love animals...... sorry... the hatred i have for my parents will prob never go away.... now, i have phobias of setting up my own family......... jus in case u were wondering.... yes.. i NEVER had frens in primary sch... i could count the frens i made in secondary sch... (5) ::::need to add something:::: those getting the books for my bdae or xmas (WAHLAU!!! SOOOOO BHB!!!!!!!!!! oooOOooo *wags finger at own self*), go get from kino! kino has 20% discount.. til 31st dec. go cut out coupons from either I-chou-kan (i-smelly-weekly) or 8 days or straits times~~~ happy shopping for ur cute little fwen, ME~! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! im kidding la folks.. i'll be buying my own books~ *wink* ::::ammended wishlist:::: ok ok... be more practical... and i know people cant give me my hubby....... *rolls eyes* 1. A book! title: a child called IT.... *thanks to Sue... made me drool at the review and excerpt..* 2. a dictionary!!!! english dictionary... not the pocket one..... err... maybe cambridge or oxford one.. or macmillian... those thick thick ones~~~ coz i keep having to log on to go to 'www.dictionary.com' .................. hahahahhaha what to do?! english is bad... im trying to improve ok~ 3. more books! but i have to check out book reviews..... WHAT are all my friends doing??? pls write more reviews!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shit... im such a bookworm.... a rarity in my age group... i can count the number of friends of my age on ONE hand.... so far i can only think of........ K.T and Joyce..... my sister doesnt even read! in fact, the books she borrowed from her friends (she borrowed Charlotte's Web)... and although she started reading, i read more than she did... sadly, i never got to finish the story coz she returned it........... -_____-" maybe shld add that book to my wishlist... but hell.. it's a children's book........ ok.. i realised an error in the paragraph above.... if my sister doesnt read, then why would she be borrowing books? LOL~ stupid me... what i meant was, she doesnt read as much as i did... ALL my Enid Blyton books... i read at least 5 to 6 times over and over... (i had SO MANY! a library of it but yet i read and re-read and re-read....) after Enid Blyton came Roald Dahl... then cam R.L Stine's Fear street.... i remember my mom giving me some money to choose my own book at my school's bookfair when i was in primary six... hhahahaha before that, all my books had to be 'screened' or chosen by my mom.... so... the first book i bought ALL by MYSELF (mom's money though..) was R.L Stine's Fear Street.... err.. titled 'Lights Out'.... after that, i was hooked on the Fear Street series and had the entire library of it (i threw the whole library out before i moved out...) i wanted to pass to my sis.......... and she claimed she wanted.......... but she never bothered to lay a single finger on them......... sighhh... she doesnt even read the Enid Blyton ones... WHat a waste rite??? (fyi, i rem my first 2 Enid Blyton books were 'The Goblin's Hat' and err...... the other i cant rem..... hAHHAHAHA but i rem Snicker the Brownie... The Magic Brush... etc etc... and the Flyaway Chair adventure series....etc etc etc) then then.. then there was Nancy Drew.. that stupid gal who got too much attention and a dad who is toooo good to her... HAHAHHAHAHA (sori.. i aint got a happy childhood so i hated nancy drew and always wished her dead)... and then there was The Naughtiest Girl in School... and how i WISHED she stayed naughty!!!!!!! i didnt like her when she became a good girl......... hiak hiak hiak~ ive got serious problems yes? then there was this story that blew me away.. (The War Of The Worlds by H.G Wells).. and i kept tellin my mom tht i have a VERY strong feeling that this story will come true one day and i still stand by this.... u'll see, people... u'll see... i promise....... hmm what other books? i loved my lit books... during my time... they concentrated on the subject of apartheid... so i got to read books like July's People and Global Tales..... whoa man.... many of my classmates thought these to be a huge pain-in-the ass... and i had been failing lit since sec 2....... (well... my school's standard for lit was like so f*ckin high.... we only had 10% to 30% passes.... and those who pass get almost full marks... *rolls eyes*) we were told for our prelims that if we fail lit, we are not allowed to take the subject for o'levels... (stupid image-concious principal)... but miraculously, i got 50%... HAHAHHAHAHAHA so i went on to take the o'level lit paper.. and i got a B3 ok!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats like the highest mark since sec 1! (i used to gert full marks for sec 1 lit coz i loved the book we were doing ... which was Totto-Chan...... until we touched on mr. Shake's tragedies... ARGH... i flunked Mr.Shakes.... luckily apartheid pulled my grades up for the O's....) for goodness sake!!! Mr.Shakes aint around to tell u if u intepreted his stories right or wrong! let bygones be bygones and let tragedies rest in peace......... who cares if Lady Macbeth commited suicide!? (did she?) LOL! im more interested in racial descrimination and the on-goings in my time..... (no wonder i hate history... i wonder how i scraped thru India and China history!.. all the Bramabutra Putramama... and Mr. Su Dong Po is Mr. Sotong Ball....... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA) i dont even noe what is Sun Yat Sen to us man...... hmm.. what other books i read? i go to the library so often......... geez.. im SO UNLIKE my sis........ my sis' library card is with me all the time.. hahah so i can check out 8 books at a time....... she doesnt want to go to the library.. she'd rather watch TV... (which i DONT)....... im surprised how she manages to top her class in english most of the times...... she is hooked on CHARMED... hmmmm i wonder if i shld get a book on witchcraft for xmas~ hahahahha talking about that, i need to find out where i put my tarot cards (it's pronounced 'tah-row'... not 'ta-rrot' btw.... ) after the move, my life seems to be upside down and inside out... i cant find my stuff!!!!!!!!!!!! shit.. i... *quote hama* am commiting literary diarrhea... sorri for boring u all to death....... ill just stick to my book now... it's named : 'THE CASES THAT HAUNT US'..... from jack the ripper to JonBenet Ramsey....... btw, did u know Jack the ripper's real name isnt even Jack? it wasnt even given by the 'real' ripper himself........ it was referred to as the 'Whitechapel Murders' before the nickname came about... and this happened in 1888, East End London....... they believe there were 6 victims (altho police rather skeptical and i think he only killed 5...) i saw the pics of the victims after they died on the net... PHWOARRR................. wan me to post them here??? *evil laugh* Thursday, December 04, 2003
::::the reason:::: why im so lovesick is becoz he's been away for half a year........ i dont mind 1 week... i dont mind 2 months... i dont even mind maybe 3 months......... HALF A YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! urghhh!!!!!!!!!! im going MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no doubt we have out little tiffs........ but if i dont even love him or think of him or even feel lovesick after he's gone so long, then i'd really think there's something wrong with me... but the fact is that im still capable of meeting up with friends, reading books, eating and sleeping well and able to do housework (believe it ok) and take care of a dog that d.o.e.s.n.t. s.t.o.p. p.l.a.y.i.n.g, .... i think im pretty much normal..... Wednesday, December 03, 2003
::::wishlist for birthday and xmas:::: 1. my hubby 2. my hubby 3. my hubby 4. my hubby 5. my hubby 6. a new brain 7. for christ sake, gemme out of this fucking place! it feels like im living in someone's arsehole! ::::sometimes...:::: sometimes when i read my archives, i think... "geez.. did i really write that???" fyi, im really really really really really lovesick............................... ::::i am...:::: very very very very very very very very lovesick................................................ Tuesday, December 02, 2003
::::wonder why:::: i wonder why i think so much of him.... whenever i think of him, i have an image of him in my mind and i just to reach out and touch him... feel him.. hug him.......... im suffering very very bad withdrawal symptoms of love.... no one ever warned me........ somehow, im glad i feel this way... coz it's the only way to know that my feelings are true for him...... it helps when u r very confused in life........ it helps in the way that i can really be sure that i love him.. btw, interesting article to share with all of u.... taken from The Straits Times, Tuesday. December 2 2003 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total recall...with the help of a tiny display clipped on glasses CAMBRIDGE (Massachusetts) - When Mr Richard DeVaul sits down to his computer, he sometimes forgets to eat for hours at a time. Names slip his mind at cocktail parties and, to his embarrassment, he mixes up the faces of people he knows well. A string on the finger might have been a solution in the past, but the graduate student from Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) in the United States is testing a more modern lifeline for people who fumble for names, leave the stove on, or forget to call Mum on her birthday. Mr DeVaul's memory glasses are a tiny computer display clipped onto spectacle frames and wired to a computer that can flash reminders to the wearer, without, he hopes, distraction or interference with day-to-day activities. 'The things that I want help with are very simple,' he said. 'If I've been sitting in front of my computer for six hours, and haven't gotten up to eat, a little thing would remind me, 'Rich, go take a break'.' Mr Chandra Narayanaswami, manager of the wearable computing group at IBM's Thomas J. Watson Research Centre and the organiser of a recent conference where Mr DeVaul presented his work, considers the memory glasses intriguing, if unproven. 'It's not some intrusive mechanism like an alarm going off,' he said. 'It looks like a promising idea.' The glasses are part of a computer system developed by MIT 'Borglab' researchers, who are tackling 'wearable computing': devices worn in clothes and engineered to solve day-to-day problems. Mr DeVaul, 32, hopes to program the wearable computer to cue the user with subliminal messages or images that would flash on the screen. The prompts would be too quick for the wearer to notice, but the brain would still recognise them and respond. The systems would be 'context aware', using a global positioning system and sensors to know where users are. The computer could be programmed, for example, to remind the wearer of topics to discuss when he bumps into someone with whom he has unfinished business. Or to remind a doctor of medical procedures at the operating table, or flash a list of desired movies upon entering a video store. Subliminal messages would be safer than overt ones because pop-up messages could distract someone in the middle of, say, crossing the street or driving a car, Mr DeVaul said. He conducted a study with 28 people in which he said subliminal cueing substantially increased their ability to recall names associated with faces. The memory glasses are largely hypothetical at this point. The technology depends on them becoming practical to wear outside the lab, creating software that would cue the user at the right time with the right information, and establishing that subliminal cueing works. Professor Daniel Schacter, chairman of Harvard's psychology department, said he is intrigued by the idea of the memory glasses, but knows of no scientific evidence showing that subliminal cueing works. -- AP MITHRIL PROJECT: A MEMORY MARVEL THE spectacles are part of a computer system developed by MIT researchers. The computer project - nicknamed MIThril, a reference to the light armour Frodo Baggins wears in the 'Lord of the Rings' - is actually three separate computers wired together inside a vest that resembles fake fleece clothing available in stores. A smaller version of MIThril is powered by an off-the-shelf, handheld computer made by Sharp, but that version cannot support the head display for now. Both versions run on Linux, the open-source operating system. The tiny head-mounted display, which juts out from the side of the eyeglass frames, is wired into a video board. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i am thinking... the power of subliminal messages.... if this project takes off and suceeds, can u imagine what will happen to the people who misuse it? i shudder at the thought.... THIS is the type of news u read everyday and probably wont even think much about it or into it....and some may even praise it.... sadly... people really must start to wake up u know.... Monday, December 01, 2003
::::the prison:::: hahaha i let him go before i went to bed..... reason? coz i talked to Anna, she told me not to cage doggies up coz they will become aggressive and start to growl.... after growling, might turn to biting/snapping.... she also told me not to smack coz my hand is used for praising and feeding food..... he will fear my hand if i keep doing it.... the only way is to grab him by his collar/neck and tell him firmly... "NO".... i'll leave his pinch collar on then.. unless i go out and leave him in my room or at nite when we sleep.... so anytime he does something wrong, the pinch collar will help discipline him....... i hope he learns.... okiii i need to go buy chicken breast meat for him~ maybe blog tonite~ btw, he barked for the first time today.... i think tryin to wake me up... and there was a garang guni man at the front door... he could hear/sense the garang guni man but cant see coz my room door was closed.... so he got upset... and barked... hhahahaha gave me a scare!!!!!!!!!!! his voice is powerful! ::::angry with Benji:::: for the first time today, i locked him up in his pen..... i went out from 2pm to 8pm and left him in my room. he didnt do anything wrong... was very well behaved.... didnt chew on anything that he wasnt supposed to chew on.. he pissed and pooed in the right place and everything was clean................ then i brought him down for his walk (and i had to see the doctor again coz my throat is SO MUCH WORSE now....so much so that i cant even swallow my saliva...)......... after that when we came home, after he ate up his food, he chewed on my step-mom's shoes and my granny alerted me.... i grabbed him and shouted 'NO!' i smacked him on the butt..... and my granny protested.. told me not to hit him... i ignored him.... after a while, he brought my step-mom's shoes and placed it in front of me in my room... was really pissed.... gave him a good scolding... THEN, he ran out of the front door when my dad came in.... i smacked the side of his face..... (dont worry it wasnt hard)... scolded him and dragged him by his neck... (he was whimpering... but i think he deserves it) i dragged him into the pen and locked him in without his toys.. he's still a prisoner now and he will be in there for the whole nite..... until tomorow morning... i dont care if he steps or lies on his poo or pee.... i'll just bathe him if that happens... i jus hope he learns his lesson.. my heart really aches when i do these things to him..........but if i dont discipline him, he'll never learn... i dont want to lose my dog when someone opens the front door one day............ i'd rather my beart break for a night than my heart break for the rest of my life.... Sunday, November 30, 2003
::::my life:::: i dont know i should be happy or sad.... there are two things i want in life... actually 3....... and i got 2 fufilled now........ one is to have a loving bf/ husband.... whom i love and who can love me back... and understand me............ two is to have a doggie.. a collie to be exact.... three is to live my life with number 1 and number 2............somewhere far away from here... i love G alot..... but things are so unstable now... location, jobs, etc etc etc................. i love Benji alot too... altho he's only here with me for slightly more than a day............ i feel bonded with him already..... in fact, i felt a bond with him the first time i met him.... something which i never ever had before with other dogs...... not with Schnauzie (the black and silver schnauzer pup that i trained and cared for before she was sold in the petshop i used to work in) not with the Collie at Ericson.... (altho she kept staying close to me when i visited her... and altho i want a female collie so much...) not with the two huskies.... not even the white one........ i love timmi and lasse........ but they dont belong to me.... no doubt... timmi is G's and lasse is my good friend's......... but they are already bonded with him and her...... no doubt they listen to me... but they know they dont belong to me..... and i know when im with them, there is an invisible line which we do not cross... an invisible emotional-relationship kinda line..... when i am sad or when i cry, it's not T&L with me.... coz they simple dont stay with me.... once, i cried when i was with them.... they didnt even bother.... they cant feel me.......... just an hour or so ago, after talkin to G on the fone, i lay on the bed and cried.......... and Benji..... walked over...... i carried him up beside me... and he started to lick my hand.... he didnt stop until i stopped crying....... usually, he would gnaw on my hand..... but he was licking it when i cried.......... coincidence? well maybe... but he stopped the moment i stopped crying.... coincidence too? just one day... and my dog responds to my mood.... when people talk about dogs, they talk about unconditional love..... tell me.. where else can i find this love? did i not think it over before i got benji? i was not the only contender to adopt him, mind u.... u tokin abt doggiesite... a forum that SO MANY people go to and SO MANY people replied to that thread for Benjy's adoption....... i thot not only twice... i thot more than thrice! i strongly feel that once this chance is missed, ill never get it again..... ive always been asked to wait......... wait till things are more settled.... when im stable..... etc etc.................. yes... my life is VERY unstable now.... maybe im selfish... in the sense that i want benji to be with me... for company, for companionship, just to be 'someone' who will always be there for me......... but i really wonder... how many actually know how i feel inside... i feel in my bones.. that if i wait and pass up this chance, i may not be able to have any dogs... why? coz lookin at the way things are goin to go, my life will NEVER be stable... i will NEVER be rich nor have a permanant house.... permanant roof over my head......... if i do not fight for and 'earn' Benji now, i do not know when........ ive wanted a dog for the whole of my life... ever since i knew what a dog was (im not kiddin ok u can ask my dad) my mom never approved of this.... i often wondered if G misses Timmi... i know he does... but how can he stand being away from them? it all boils down to CHOICE......... i dont regret getting Benji... he is NOT and NEVER will be a mistake in my life.... of coz, i wan to be with G.... and he is also another one whom i never regret being with... and is not and i very very much hope that he will never be a mistake in my life....... i realli wonder... WHY OF ALL PLACES, CHINA???? if only the streets were clean.............................. somehow, i have mixed feelings... somehow i just hope he quits after his contract expires..... coz i know he's not meant to be there long....(i can den go for a holiday there and leave Benji with my family for a couple of months) but that will also mean more uncertainties....... on another hand, i jus hope he renews his contract for 2 more yrs..... so i can join him WITH Benji.. (somehow i will persuade him) i wish.. i wish i knew the future..... i know everything happens for a reason.... and there will always be a road or pathway to thread on....... but i just wish everything can be easier on me... for me.... giving benji up will never be on my mind... giving G up will never be on my mind too... i jus need to buck up... and crack my brains to pave a path that i can be with Benji AND G.. the 3 of us..... i fought hard for G.. i fought fairly hard for Benji... and i will fight hard for a future together.......... all i ask from G is more understanding and patience... what will be will be... by dec 18th, Benji would be trained enuf to stay by himself at nite (of coz will spend the day with him) so i can be with G at the resort.... by nex yr jan, Benji will be bonded with my dad... and i will drill responsibilties into him too.. so he can help take care.... funny i started out writing this blog in a negative 'tone' and end with a more positive 'tone'...? am i seein a change in myself? usually it's always from positive to neg, or neg all the way, or something that doesnt make any sense.... anyway, i keep reminding myself.. everything happens for a reason.. and i dont do regrets... *ive NEVER done regrets in my entire life.... tell me one thing i did before which i regret* i believe i lost my hp for a reason too.. thats why im reluctant to get another... altho it means my dad will have to pay a fine if the line gets cut off.... i wish i can talk to Benji now but he is SO DEAD ASLEEP from the LONNNNNGGG walk at s'goon with Fluffie, Ackley and Refund.... (Refund doesnt like Benji.... he snarls and shows his teeth esp when they were in Fluffie's room) he wont even budge from his sleepin corner when i went into a sneezing and coughin fit... (my throat is much worse btw.. but no more fever) hahahah he's so tired but yet came over to lick me when i cried.... i thank God for giving me both Benji and G.... and i pray He will continue to bless me... and i know i have to work for it.... i also wish that my family and G are more supportive.... and i just wish they can believe in me... and not put me down so easily... 'u think it's easy to bring a dog out of the country?' no it isnt and it'll never be. but it's all about choices and i WILL DO IT. FULLSTOP. Friday, November 28, 2003
::::very sick:::: In bed..... Throat infection!!! I didn't know throat infection can affect the whole body.... My whole body ached and my nose dripped and so much phlegm and so weak.... Am going to practise on my 3D software and play The Sims whole day today... provided I don't get too drowsy from the medication..... medicationsssssssssssss... I have SO MANY different types of medicine!!!!!!!! Wednesday, November 26, 2003
::::it's been a bad day:::: i saw the husky today.... she's super cute and nice! but because of many reasons, i cannot have her. for the first time in my life, i lost my handphone. i dont think im getting another.. just as well.. be uncontactable. and when i die, nobody will know... coz all my contacts are in the phone.. my family cant call my friends to inform them... the person i want to talk to most, has his hp line cut off too... and it has to happen when something happens to me..... when others call him, they can talk to him.......... all these months... these months when i needed him most... he wasnt beside me.........now..... i just need to talk to him... i have to wait till at night when he goes home... and god knows what time........ im not angry with the people who so unkindly held on to the phone and unkindly OFFED it.... i know they will be cursed.. the whole family.... i make sure they are cursed.... they will die tragic deaths and i will smile when i read the news of a whole family dying becoz of a cursed handphone..... why? coz the fone has all my messages from him..... im just very sad to lose all those messages.................... im so tired......... it doesnt help when your family is so fucking not understanding.... whatever... i can go to hell... who cares... who gives a fucking damn? Tuesday, November 25, 2003
::::make it a point to blog everyday:::: the title says it all! anyway i have a shared blog at www.retromonks.net im having a high fever now... dripping nose and unstable equilibrum in my head... it's tilting to the side... uncontrollable.... my throat's sore too... have been going to Solutions 3 for my Cinema4D (3d software) training.. and have to go for the rest of this week.. up till saturday.. i hope i get a part time job as a trainer there... i dont want to be full-time coz of many reasons........ i think my english sucks and i need to improve it... my vocab especially... wish i could be as good as Glen... his english is just superb and i admit sometimes when he emails or writes, i have to check the dictionary... HAHAHAHAHA! just realised how much i do appreciate friends around me... esp ppl like hamhams, sue, petrina, hama.. hamster peoples and those peeps at retromonks..., brighton esp... frens? most are just aquaintances i guess.. i dont talk much except in both the hamster and retromonks forums......... i just wonder why i dont go out often or talk with people of my age group......... my friend drove me home one day when Glen smsed me to call him.. so i did and he asked where i was... so i told him my friend was driving me home.... G: girl or guy? me: girl.. G: how come she has a car?? me: why cant she have a car???? i mean, she's old enough to have a car! G: how old is she? me: about ur age... (34) G: how come all your friends are so aged? me: so u r aged too ya? pedophile? hahahahha maybe i m the aged one in a person-under-21's body... shit man... ill be like 21 next yr but i have to wait till december before im OFFICIALLY 21.... thats sucks........ but i'll always be young......... as compared to the old man pedophile im with.. HAHAHHA im so bad....... shit.. im rambling nonsense... must be the fever........... Nut is fatter now as compared to the day i brought him home........ he's still scared of me......... i need to play the SIMS soon..... im going to burst.. spent $60 on the game and this ancient cant play it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i wish it were a mac! then at least i can troubleshoot it! but noooo....!!! it's a bloody PC.............. damn u, microsoft! i hate u microsoft! u make my life bloody miserable and ill never ever buy the X-Box!!! nyaa nyaahh nyaahhhhh! hahahaha madness! Wednesday, November 12, 2003
::::what is love?:::: ive been thinking about this for a long time.... especially so after what happened few days ago between me and him... what is love? i watched the Matrix Revolutions last nite... i cried, when i felt the love between Trinity and Neo... i cried, when Trin died.... i cried, when Neo cried... when i watched Reloaded few months back, i could feel the love between Neo and Trin... Neo: "Trinity, I know you can hear me....I'm not giving up...I love you too damn much." i told G, that the love between these two fictional characters, is the type of love i yearn to have.... i had forgotten about the movie... until last night.... each and everyone of us is given a purpose to live for.... Neo is THE ONE. the anomaly who doesnt belong to neither the Matrix nor Zion... Morpheus is a program created to find Neo.. Trinity is a program created to 'continue the line' of Neo (go figure) when Zion falls... it will be rebuilt, and it will fall again... and again.. and again.... this reminds me of Final Fantasy X... Sin keeps coming back after the calm.... and Tidus always asks.... "whats the point?" whats the point....? ive read enough to want to know more... all the info that's been weaved into movies and games... i want to know more.... we r headed towards a 'cashless' society.. where work for humans will gradually be taken over by machines.... prophecies, will come true.... in Matrix Trilogy, there WILL be survivors... a handful of them.. so that Zion can be rebuilt by these people.... and so it can be destroyed again...... i feel strongly, that it's the case for our very own land... what will happen in the near future.... it all makes sense to me now.... trust urself and no-one else.... how can u know, that what u learned is all true if u do not question beyond just being told? i wanna tell G that, whatever problems he's facing now at work, is insignificant.... i wanna tell G that he should focus on what is relevant and filter out irrelevant stuff... it's only a SMALL PART... and it's not what he should be frustrated about.... in X-files, "the truth is out there" find the truth.... and ignore those who do not deserve ur attention... God will help those who believe in him and those who help themselves.... i will definitely get out of this place... will definitely fight for my rights... but how i wish, i can love like Neo and Trin... the strong bond between them both.... so strong nothing can break them apart... not even the destruction of earth (Zion) how i wish it was like this between me and him... i wish frustrations will not get in between us.... how pathetic... i can only wish... it is time, to fight for what i want. and leave the irrelevant behind. i HAVE to move on... something is telling me i dont belong here and my purpose in life is not to be here... is not to be what i have always been.... im thinking of all these, and suddenly everything else seems irrelevant... marraige, studies, work, money, problems..... is all irrelevant... i just want to be with the one i love...he who shares a common goal..... thats all i want. and i will fight for it. i know i will get it. Wednesday, October 22, 2003
::::the last one....:::: Ben, the campbell, passed on today, 22oct2003.... at age of almost 3 years old.... after feeding the wheekies, i pulled out Ben's tank to feed him too..... something's not right.... he didnt come out of his igloo.. he didnt 'dance' that crazy gerbil-dance.... he was sleeping.... sleeping soundly in his 'bed'... he loves his igloo so much, he eats, poos (alot), drags all the bedding into it.. now, he sleeps in it.. and never woke up...... his eyes were closed.... i couldnt believe my eyes....... tears welled up.... i sniffed it back... i didnt know what to do... it's been a very very long time since i saw a dead hamster.... i pushed his tank back.. i really didnt know what to do... how to react.... i sat down on my bed... and continued to read my book..... then i messaged my hubby and hamhams (she liked the way he did his gerbil-dance).... only then reality set back in... i took the igloo out.. and took a few last photos of him... (usually i dont do such a thing but he really looked like he was 'just sleeping'....) he was starting to reek... i removed the igloo's top and i held his tiny paw... for the last time... and lifted him out from the 'nest' he made around him.... placed him on tissue and stroked his little furry body... he wasnt very 'rigormortified' yet....then i wrapped him up... it's too late to go downstairs now.. so i will have to bury him tomorow... i placed the wrapped body back into the igloo... and put the cover on..... he's still in there.. the tiny white body.... i love u little Ben.... go find ur brother across the rainbow bridge ok? i looked at the igloo and remember clearly telling hamhams that if anyone wants to adopt him, the igloo would have to go with him.... he cant live without his igloo.... hahahahaha i miss him so much already... Ben, mummy's no good.... im sorry little Ben..... i wasnt there with u....... im sorry...... Tuesday, October 14, 2003
::::the last of my hamsters:::: i just passed the three boys to Hamhams..... along with their toys etc.... suddenly, my room feels empty..... it was once cluttered with many tiny creatures and they run their wheels, chew the cage bars, dig in the beddings, chew on the water bottles, squeak etc every night..... this huge number became smaller and smaller..... until i was down to 3 syrians, 1 old campbell and 1 old gerbil..... now, im just left with the old campbell (Ben) and the old gerbil.. (Bill).... these two may just leave anytime... well, Bill's brother just left two days ago........ of course, the pigs are still around.... but they wont be around for long either.... i feel that i have failed miserably in being a pet owner.... im so burdened by my own problems and i admit being emotionally unstable....... but yet i brought home so many pets... i regret tagging prices to the newborns... i am disgusted with myself... why did i have to sell the animals? why did i have to breed them when i cant be responsible for them in the first place? it saddens me to watch them grow without enough love from their owner... it saddens me when some of them dont even recognise me.... (which is not at all surprising...) i just hope Sue, Anirtep and Springflowers will take good care of them..... and i hope im allowed to visit them sometime..... but there's one person i must really thank.. i cant thank her enough.... Joyce has been boarding my piggies for so long..... and they are soooo well-kept and big sized.... and she refuses to take anything from me.... but this time, i must insist, when i pass her the last of my pigs, that i buy food for them at LEAST once.... she is only a student and dont earn much..... i wonder why a person like me deserve to know such nice people.... i was clearing my emails and chanced upon the old emails he wrote to me... most of the long long ones are the ones which hurt the most... sometimes, i just want to delete them... afterall, have i not forgiven and moved on...? "forgive, forget..." maybe i am not able to do that yet.... sometimes i just wonder, if i have made the right choice... would i change...? would i falter...? would HE change...? would HE falter...? im a failure in many ways... so what if i am good in japanese class? so what if i breezed through 13 years of education? i have failed my pets.. by neglecting them i have failed my mom.. by disobeying her i have failed my boyfriend.... by..... by not being..... able to be more matured and understanding.... maybe im just scared of losing everyone and everything... i really want to live my life that of a recluse...... but yet, i really want to go out there and learn as much as i can... there are so many things i do not know... i do not understand and i want to know these things.. i want to understand these things.... im not happy where i am... im not happy with myself.. im not happy with the life i am living now...... only i can change it... but i cant change it, if i dont even know where i want to go or what i want to do.... sometimes, i really wish i can have a dog... a dog who will go wherever i go.... a dog who is dependent on me... so i have full responsibility of him.... a dog who can listen to all my sorrows and troubles.. a dog who loves me unconditionally.... a dog whom i can give my love and care to... a dog who will protect me when harm comes my way... a dog who is part of me.... a dog who will never part with me...... maybe it's because, with a dog, the only thing that can cause our seperation is death... he wont have to go away to work... if i have to work, i would want to bring him with me.... im just sad.. coz not even my family members understand me.... i dont think anyone understands me.... i dont think anyone wants or needs me... not even the pigs.. not even the hamsters... i am JUST ANOTHER human being on earth... what difference does it make to anyone? im just competing for oxygen with the rest.. thats all... people will change... what if........ what if he forgets me... if he has to wait too long...? what if he change his mind....? i have, afterall, angered him so much before.... im lazy and incapable of thinking logically at times.... why would someone of his age, even want to be with me.... im still so immature and childish... im still so lost and clueless to what i want to do..... sometimes..... i just want to die....... Friday, October 10, 2003
::::did u know?:::: who are our real ancestors? do u know about the Illojiims? do u WANT to know the TRUTH about what YOU are? Thursday, October 09, 2003
::::im still alive:::: ok... it;s been so long... no computer... but surprisingly, im not really bothered by having no comp except for the times when i wanna do my portfolio............ i wonder what it takes to make a mother happy... to see a child suffer? or to have the child be happy..? by the way, to those who dont already know, GOD lives in our HEARTS.... NOT in our brain...... understand? sheesh... i bought me a new pair of jeans... i think u all can guess la huh... levis lor... wat else.... (damn!! i had a 'lor' in my passage!) it's the type 1 jeans... the salesgirl asked me what size and i couldnt remember... so i said 30? and she looked at me and then at my waist and said... "30 is huge u know?" and i was thinking "im not very slender u noe..." anyway she took a 29.... was WAAAYYY too big... HAHAHAHAHAHHAH den.... she took a 28... STILL big.... 27 is just nice.. and im wearing it now... HOHOHO..... i printed so many.. errr.. actually.. 4 only... t-shirts yesterday..... i designed 2 of them and blew up SMAP's KIMURA TAKUYA picture and printed on one t-shirt and the other was a gorrillaz design which i chose from the shop itself..... i wanna design more tees man!!! but... no comp.... = no typography..... coz my handwriting sux........... im just babbling nonsense... sigh... im actually still kinda sad..... koz of things happening at home..... pls lemme pull thru this period....... pls............... Monday, September 29, 2003
::::today:::: he wrote a song for me!!!!!! WOW!!!! i shant post it here tho.. it's personal... it's just the lyrics.... hahahaha it sounds more like a poem.... i love it so much!! HAHAHAHAH this is the FIRST time anyone ever wrote a song/poem for me.... i wrote a poem for him more than a year ago.... i wonder if he remembers it.... its starting is SOMETHING like that....(i really cant remember the exact words): If only stars can be picked from the sky... Light up ur once bright and sparkling eyes.... hahaha i may seem like a normal kinda poem... but had a hidden meaning... i'll see if i can find the poem somewhere... hehehe im happy... for now....~ ::::rambles:::: read a good friend of mine's blog...... she just passed her birthday 2 days back..... wow.... lucky her... got to celebrate 3 days with her friends.... actually me and another fren had a surprise for her.... but she wasnt free to meet up with us... hahahah she still dont know what we up too... anyway, she would know when she reads this entry of mine... kekekekek anyway, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JOYCIE!!!!!!!!!!! i actually sent her a picture sms which she sent to me on my birthday last year!!! LOL! the chicken chicken one.... she's so lucky... many people celebrating her bdae... hahahaha bdaes for me........ i cant really remember many of the 19 bdaes i had so far... i do remember my 15th bdae... it coincide with Chen Song Ling (Nnadia)'s fan club meeting and my friend asked me to go along.... it was held at Raffles Country Club.... really had ALOT of fun with Nnadia (we actually call her 'Chung Chung') was a wild evening.... i was in the same 'group' as she for the games section and we had to produce a shoelace... so she quickly stripped off hers.... and guess what...? she doesnt know how to string it back..... -______- i mean.... she's like..... so much older than i am...?? so end up i tie it back for her LOL~... den we sang karaoke with her.... one of the DJs chose sammi cheng's song and it was in cantonese so she didnt know how to sing it... someone threw the mike to me and sorta.. saboo me to sing... so i did... and chungchung was so surprised that i knew how to sing in cantonese.. she got so hyper... she sang with me.... HAHAHHAHA... side by side.... the last section was she gave out 3 TVB's watches... it was lucky draw... i was actually standing at the front of the crowd... but when i heard it was lucky draw, i squeezed to the back coz i knew i was never lucky in lucky draws.... but hey... the 3rd name she pulled out was my name!!! and the person in charge whispered to her that it was my birthday that day... hahahahahaha she pulled me out from behind and told everyone to sing birthday song for me..... i was like.... totally red in face..... den she said something like it's a kinda 'yuan fen'... affinity........ yeah... i cant remember where the TVB watch is.... i wore it to school for a year... den i stopped wearing watches... hmm.. make a mental note to find it.. ya? the second most memorable bday is last yr... with who else...? hhahaha.... will always remember how he stuck all the candles into the cake... looked like battlefield.... i remember it was a rainy day..... but i was feeling so happy........ we did many things that i shant say here... hahahahah...... but i was truely happy and remembering that day brings tears into my eyes...... i miss him alot....... his birthday is less than a month away from now..... i remember his last birthday too.... i remember how i searched high and low, went specially out of the way to orchard Forum (and got lost in process), just to find packs of...... long candles.... u know those long and slender types? he wasnt pleased i was late tho..... but he forgave me after 5 mins of pouting... hahahaha... he didnt know about the candles hahaha... actually this was on the day before his bdae.... i was planning to give him the cake and his presents at 12midnight... that night, TV showed the Matrix and after that, Gattaca... both shows were cool..... Gattaca ended at 12am.... so i told him i had to go downstairs to get 'something'... (his cake was in the refridgerator downstairs)... he insisted that he went with me coz it's 'not safe' (HAHAHHAA) but in the end managed to go down and get the cake... had problems lighting the stupid candles..... i wanted to poke in the number of candles corresponding with his age but decided that the cake would be....errr.... uneatable after that..... den i gave him the clay figurine i made for him (he named it Orange).... and a t-shirt i made for him... hahaha... memories..... i remembered his birthday better than mine...... his birthday is coming soon and i wont be able to be with him...... i wonder if anybody would know this feeling..... i really wanna be with him so much........ and on my brithday...? i only want to be with him...... thats ALL i ask for... every year.... every single year...... i dont need presents.... i dont need cakes.... i only need him............ same for every xmas day... i only want him close to me.... in fact, i want him close to me everyday.... every month... every year.... birthdays and xmas is only an excuse to be with him... hahaha... maybe...... i miss him too darn much.......... Saturday, September 27, 2003
::::im sick...:::: no no... not sick in the mind.... (hmm... maybe i AM..) ive got baaaad fever..... this is all i can manage... took me so long to type this sentence.... keep having typos and gota deltee... delelt.. delete thenm them,.,,,....... Monday, September 22, 2003
::::moral of the story...?:::: lemme tell u a true story.... when i was in primary 5, i skipped one remedial class and wandered out of school with a pri 3 boy (who was very notorious... and his elder brother was the most notorious 'little gangster' in my school...) we wanted to go to the bowling alley in the old woodlands center to play the arcade games (i remember STREET FIGHTER... yes.. the first version..) woodlands garden is just across the road from my school. at that time, the pond in woodlands garden was undergoing some 'renovation' or widening works and the whole area was blocked out by the metal sheets. we walked down the line of metal sheets and nearing to the main entrance of the garden, he noticed fruits on the tree.. and so he started climbing the tree... then he sat on one of the branches and said to me in mandarin,"hey i can see them working on the pond from where i am... it's cool and muddy!" he picked one of the fruits and started eating it.... i very much wanted to climb the tree.... but... 1. i was wearing a skirt (my uniform)... but this wasnt the main reason coz i had a pair of shorts on under the skirt... 2. my parents have warned me about these 'dangerous acts' that i should never attempt as it may result in broken bones, head injuries, etc etc.... but u know what? i swung myself up from the lowest branch and started to scale the tree.... i leaned back on another branch not far away from the boy and picked a fruit... i remember... the fruit looked like a starfruit... except that it was smaller and very much greener.. (i dont know if starfruits grow in singapore.. but i always thought it was an unriped starfruit....) i sank my teeth into it..... it was hard and VERY sour... i spat the mouthful out and threw the fruit on the ground...... but from where i was, i could see the garden being revamped.... i could see the muddy body of water that the boy was talking about.. yeah... i know.. "big deal...!" yes... it WAS a big deal to me then... when i was barely 11 years old.... if not, i wouldnt have remembered it...... we climbed down and continued to walk to the bowling alley.... and we spent quite some time challenging each other in STREET FIGHTER..... looking back, many things could have happened to me.... 1. the most important being, i might have fell from the tree and really broke my bones... and worse, injure my spine and become paralysed.... 2. i could have died of food poisoning... eating a fruit which i dont even know if it was edible.... and besides, it might have been infested with germs or something.... (but im very sure that boy is still alive now...) 3. i would have been punished very severely by my parents and teachers had they found out what i did...... in FACT, my teacher DID find out and worse, he didnt even want to talk to me.. all he said was that he wanted to talk to my PARENTS...... but i BEGGED him not to..... i cried real hard as i was very terrified of my mom's wrath..... he sent me to the principal instead and i got caning on my palm..... but... do u think i was sad...? do u think i regretted the incident? NO! coz that was what i WANT TO DO.... i followed my own heart..... if i had told myself... i WILL FALL I WILL FALL I WILL FALL.... i would probably had slipped or missed my footing just because i am thinking of it all the time..... whatever that happens to a person, can only depend on THAT PERSON him/herself.... had i not climbed that tree... had i not eaten that fruit.... had i not skipped class...... i would not have gained that experience..... "have u climbed a tree?" "yes i have!" "have u ever eaten something that u dont know if it was poisonous or not?" "yes i have!" "have u ever played truant?" "yes i have!" "do u regret any of the above?" "no i dont and i will never... coz i followed my heart and i gained invaluable experience and knowledge that can never be taught in classrooms... and i am glad to say im one of the few girls.... in fact, i only know one other girl who has ever climbed a tree....." in FINDING NEMO, marlin (father clownfish of nemo) asked crush (father turtle of squirt) "bbbut how do u know if they are ready...?" "well... when they know, u'll know.. u know...?" whatever decision i make... is mine... whatever experience i gain, is definitely mine... when things go wrong, i want to hold full responsibility for my own actions and if im deprived of that even, WHAT am i going to be...? im not a left brainer.... and sorry... i cannot think like one... but i do know... my chances of survival out there... is higher than that of a person who 'follows their head' what i dont have... i make it up somewhere else... this is called the balance in life..... and one more thing... i aint a stupid person....... im not retarded... Saturday, September 20, 2003
Wednesday, September 17, 2003
::::meet:::: listen to the winter dying away i woke up in a certain year, a certain month and on a certain date..... im thinking, im waiting, im looking forward to... but that's not how the future works... rainy day, evening, looking out of the car's window, there's someone in the future waiting... turn left, turn right, look forward, how many turns do i have to take till true love comes? who will i meet? what would i say to him? the person im waiting for, how far is he into the future? i hear the wind, coming from the subway and the crowds, i queue up, holding a 'ticket to love'.. i am flying forwards, flew past a sea of time... we all were once hurt by love. i look at the roads, the entrance to dreams are a little narrow. meeting you, is the most beautiful 'chanced meeting' one day, my riddle will be solved............. Monday, September 15, 2003
::::im still lethargic:::: is there some medical problem with me? im sooo lethargic.. and i find 24 hrs a day not enuff... I NEED TO STUDY!! but i cant study and work at the same time... im already down to 7 students but i still feel so SIAN......... i got no time to study my japanese!!!!!! i got no time to do my art work and my graphic novel!!!!!!!!!!!!! sheesh... can i have more time please? i need to sleep too u knoe... im gettin super irritable.. super headakes and i dont even understand what i am typing... i stayed up to 2am last nite..... JUST to install mac OSX on the ancient computer... took so damn bloody long... i cleaned the whole animal area yesterday tho.... bathed the 7 pigs (and fell even more in love with Oreo... he's the BEST guinea pig in the world!!!!) gave oreo the new food dish i bought..... i tried laying newspapers and just scattering some woodshavings on the bottom of the cages.... but in the next minute, the newspapers become part of the woodshavings also... (rolls eyes)..... gave them hay... need to go and buy their carrots.... they seem to be begging for it........... i cleaned all the hamies' tanks too! i finally seperated the 3 brothers... put them into 3 huge tanks with plastic toys and tunnels... - bad move.... coz they chew chew chew chew the toys at night.... ah well.... i put the old old campbell (aint even got a name) into a medium sized tank.. and gave him more toys..... the gerbils had wooden bloks to chew on.... (they are gettin fatter...) my room smells nice now.... no fruit flies!!!! nyaah nyaahh nyaaahhh! i bort myself a maroon jacket... looks sorta 'retro' bought it from Samuel and Kevin........ i think F4 advertises for them and i bet the salesgals in there love F4 to bits.... they have huge posters of F4 and they play F4 songs...... yucks. if not for the nice lookin jacket, i wont even be in there......... i watched TURN LEFT TURN RIGHT......... it's worth $6.50... but not worth $8......... get what i mean? Chen Zhi Cai (edmund chen) is irritating... just plain irritating.... and the gal (not gigi), who got to act as Takeshi's 'gf', well... LUCKY HER........ i just realised they dont have screen names..... sigh.. all numbers which i cant be bothered to remember... this show is weird..... i wanna study... in library now.. hahaha im rambling!!!!!!!!! wooohooo! Wednesday, September 10, 2003
::::funniness::::  My inner child is one year old!
Tuesday, September 09, 2003
::::browntown's SNE:::: im a fan of this mr. brown's site... damn true... all the things he says... more singaporeans shld learn to be like him.. den i will have more frens.... HAHAHAHAH ------------------------------------------------------------------ Singapore National Education Part 89 by mr brown Weeks of 18 August 2003 to 3 September 2003 (Feel free to distribute for non-profit and non-commercial purposes but keep my byline, email address and URL intact please. Thanks) I have also learned lately: 1. That the NEL was delayed by 87 minutes recently because of one of the massively complex computer systems running it using up its monthly quota for delaying the NEL. 2. That in line with the new through train plan of allowing super special students to enter National Junior College at Secondary 3, and skip the O Levels to do the A Levels direct, some nurseries are thinking of offering a through train program for their two-year-olds to enter Primary One at four, skipping kindergarten K1 and K2. The toddlers will need to pass a three-hour academic test, a reasoning test and an interview in order to qualify. They will also need to be able to wear their own pampers and eat an entire meal by themselves to be shortlisted. 3. That students from all-boys and all-girls schools are looking forward to dating the opposite sex a whole two years early if they get into junior college on the NJC through train program. Maybe there should also be a hormone entrance exam too. 4. That home loan interest rates are up, and CPF is about to get cut from 36% to 33%. And the CPF ceiling will be cut from $6000 to $4500 (I bet most of you do not even know there WAS a ceiling. In other words, you guys earning $6000 per month or more now will be getting CPF based on a $4500 salary). Let the property bloodbath begin. 5. That Singaporeans need to be prepared to accept wage reform because our salaries are three times more than Malaysians, and (insert number here) times more than (insert country here). And of course, our MPs are the inverse, grossly underpaid compared to these countries. 6. That there is a new campaign to help Singaporeans improve their economy, "Bend Down Singapore". "Chasing the Pink $ Some mainstream businesses here are pitching their products and services at gays, whom they see as trendsetters with high spending power" -ST 17 August 2003 7. That there is talk that Gay World may be rebuilt to become a new tourist attraction. 8. That, for the last friggin' time, PM Goh did not say BG Lee slapped Dhana. PM Goh was making a joke. A JOKE, ok? Sheeesh. 9. That in order to help the unemployment situation, the Government has created a new statutory board, the Works Development Agency. Some have suggested that we may be creating too many statutory boards and civil servant posts, and costing the taxpayer money, while increasing the red tape that hamper new businesses. One idea that has come up is to merge some of these government and quasi-government agencies into one. The Government will create a new task force and statutory board to make this happen. 10. That there is a new mini Visa card, the Visa Mini, that is 25% smaller than the MasterCard SideCard (an elongated, width-compressed card). Smaller cards, same size credit card bill 11. That the Malaysian Government is changing the Malaysian national anthem. It will be slowed down following complaints that an upbeat version introduced in 1992 "has not induced enough pride in the country". This is based on the well-documented study from Netherlands (or somewhere) that slower anthems are generally more patriotic, and faster anthems, especially Hip Hop versions, tend to make citizens feel less patriotic, because they cannot sing the words fast enough. 12. That the title of the anthem may also be changed from Negaraku (My Country) to MalaysiaKu (My Malaysia), which many Malaysians oppose. Other titles being considered by the Cabinet include AirKu (My Water) and Vision2020Ku (My Vision 2020), and We Will (We Will) Rock You. 13. That new arrangements for the Malaysian national anthem will be submitted to the Cabinet this week for approval. Treatments being considered include Classical, Mariah Carey Power Ballad, Hip Hop, Slow Rock, and Heavy Metal. Several arrangements of the anthem will be submitted by the National Symphony Orchestra, the RTM Orchestra, as well as the police and army orchestras. Other music arrangers being shortlisted include Puff Daddy (feat. Missy Elliot), Willie Nelson and the guy who did the Myojo Mee Jingle that is being used by many handphone owners as a ringtone. 14. That Malaysians are probably wondering why the Cabinet has so much time in their hands to mess about with the National Anthem. Does that mean there will be a Ministry of National Anthem Upgrading? 15. That PM Goh gave his speech on Sunday night, and many patriotic young Singaporeans tuned eagerly to watch Black Hawk Down on HBO. 16. That Singapore births are heading towards a 26-year low. The number of babies born in the first six months of this year has fallen at such a rate that if it continues, Singapore will, at year-end, record its lowest number of births in 26 years. So for the next 6 months, Singaporeans are encouraged to make up the shortfall by having more unprotected sex. Some activities planned include More Sex Week, Babies Are Cute Week, and a general ban on contraceptives for an entire month (very likely to be the December school holidays to enable teachers participate as well). The Government is also rethinking a ban on pornographic material, but it needs to conduct further research to determine whether it will lead to higher births, or just more masturbation. Another initiative being looked into is a Go Home Early on a Weekday to Have Sex With Your Spouse Day, for married civil servants. 17. That it has been suggested that Singaporeans may need longer loans to service their mortgage if the CPF gets cut. I agree. You may as well extend your loan to 30 or 40 years. You will be working way past 55 anyway, since your nest egg is now screwed, and you may not even be able to withdraw your own CPF at 55 if your account has less than the new minimum sum. Oh, and don't forget to have more sex and babies. 18. That this dude flying a 33-year-old Beechcraft Bonanza F33 A developed electrical problems and intruded into Singapore's airspace, resulting in two Republic of Singapore Air Force (RSAF) A-4 Super Skyhawks being scrambled intercept it. The A-4 Super Skyhawk is the advanced version of the A-4 Not-So-Super Skyhawk. The pilot, Mr Faria e Mello, is a wheelchair bound former Portuguese Air Force pilot, was doing his second round the world flight. It is suspected that due to the electrical failure, pilots of the Skyhawks had to use hand signals and a quick round of Charades. Unconfirmed reports by eye-witnesses indicated that the private plane was guided down by the A-4 Super Skyhawks by following a bumper sticker on the lead Skyhawk, which read "If you can see this bumper sticker, you are flying too close to my Skyhawk." 19. That there is no news on the development of the A-4 Even-More-Super Skyhawk. 20. That the F-16s were not scrambled because their road tax was not renewed yet. Also, they needed to send something that flew slower because F-16s would be too fast for a little private plane. 21. That when you are a brave wheelchair-bound pilot who has flown around the world before and on this your second attempt, you are flying a plane sticken with electrical power failure, with no radio, no lights, and you are manually cranking down the landing gear with one hand, while guiding the plane with the other, with a torchlight in your mouth, the last thing you want to see are two A-4 Super Skyhawks sent, not to help you, but to intercept you because you have wandered into restricted airspace. 22. That according to BG Yeo, Singaporeans can expect painful adjustments ahead. In his words, "Adjustments will be necessary and some of them will be painful." In case any Singaporeans do not understand the kind of adjustments we will have to make, allow me to illustrate. You know when you have hemorrhoids and the doctor has to check to see how much bad it is, and he puts on a rubber glove and then he sticks his hand up your rectum? It will be more painful than that. 23. That Singaporeans will have to give up any illusions of a Swiss standard of living as promised by the Government and accept the fact that we will be lucky if we attain a Swiss Cheese standard of living. 24. That local DJs need Geography lessons. Heard on Power 98: Guy DJ: Hey, listen up, here is something about an Italian man... Girl DJ: Ooh, red hot Latin Lover! 25. That there are some people who would pay good money for Singapore school uniforms for girls. And it is not for educational purposes. By Lee Kin Mun (Copyright 2003) Singapore National Education Part 88 by mr brown Weeks of 11 July 2003 to 18 August 2003 (Feel free to distribute for non-profit and non-commercial purposes but keep my byline, email address and URL intact please. Thanks) I have also learned lately: 1. That if the Armed Forces also follows the new Hire Gays policy, we may soon see new ranks like Rear-Admirer. 2. That Singaporeans kow peh kow bu cannot get Government to un-ban chewing gum. US Government kow peh kow bu can. Thank goodness Wrigleys sells gum, not gun. 3. That you ask for political space and you get bungy jumping, sugar-free chewing gum, and bar-top dancing. 4. That the biggest winner in the Singapore-KL Water Debate may well be the newspapers and the printing industry. 5. That when you have no job, no money, no food on the table, $300 for a commissioning sword is as good a deal as any. Honour cannot eat one. 6. That according to a BBC report, scientists have discovered that regular masturbation cuts the risk of prostate cancer! But I feel that it may be a poor trade-off if you go blind. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3072021.stm 7. That it is ok to cut the SBS 502 bus route between Sengkang and the city, because it duplicates the NEL, but leave the 502 stretch from Boon Lay to Marina intact, even though it duplicates the SMRT. 8. That the ridership for the North East Line (NEL) is turning out to be much lower than anticipated. SBS was expecting 250,000 riders a day, but they are now seeing 150,000 a day. You North East Corridor buggers better start taking the NEL, ok? If numbers do not pick up, wait I close the Punggol Station, the Kovan Station and selected parts of Serangoon Station then you know. But to help you guys along, I will cut out bus routes that used to give you direct rides so that you can enjoy the increased standard of living by taking bus, then MRT, then bus again. 9. That ridership on NEL might be low because people disagree with the definition of the word "interchange" to describe Outram and Dhoby Ghaut station. Some riders view the "interchanges" as two stations of the same name located so far apart they may as well be in different constituencies, linked by a very long underground tunnel (if it is underground, maybe people will not notice that they just walked 15 minutes). But "interchange" probably sounded better. "I took the NEL to the Outram Interchange and switched to a Eastbound train to Tampines." ...sounds better than: "I took the NEL to the Cantonment Road Station, walked more than a mile underground to the old Outram Station, then after getting lost underground, I switched to a Eastbound train to Tampines." 10. That during the height if the SARS crisis, some school children were sent home because they failed the temperature taking test. Parents cried foul because their kids missed school and did not get an "A" in Temperature. 11. That if you were an air stewardess who got retrenched a few months before your second contract was up (thereby depriving you of a gratuity which was more than the retrenchment package that you got), you had better not go to the press and talk about it. Or else the airline will write into the forum to defend their retrenchment exercise, and as an aside, mention that you had taken 75 days of casual medical leave between April 2000 and March this year. And your work record included failing a safety and emergency procedure test which led to your grounding; being uncontactable while on standby duty; being counselled after passenger complaints about you on-board attitude and failing to report for duty for a flight. Ouch. Talk about kicking The Retrenched in the balls twice over. 12. That NTU professor say 4 in 5 new jobs went to foreigners. MOM say 1 in 10 only. While the statisticians argue over methodology, 100,000 Singaporeans are still jobless. Better go and buy 4510 for 4D lottery now. 13. That when people starting bitching about toothless local unions (or the single Big One), it is time to run articles about militant unions elsewhere and how terrible they are. 14. That when the 4-in-5 announcement was made, there were originally three economists. When the Government gently rebutted the announcement of NTU economists with a nuclear strike, only two NTU economists apologised for an "honest error" (what is an "honest error" anyway? Is there a "dishonest error"? If it is dishonest, could it still be an error or should it be a lie?) So what happened to the NTU panel's chairman, Dr. Lim Chong Yah, who presented the team's findings? This is very X-Files. 15. That, based on my calculations, gleaned from many reliable Government sources, like the Singles Development Unit website, I proudly announce that there are actually NO jobs lost to foreigners at all. So you can all be assured that all your jobs are safe. Those of you who have jobs still, I mean. 16. That Singaporeans really believe that only 1 in 10 jobs went to foreigners. Riiiiiight. 17. That at the National Day Parade, they featured for the first time, Breakdancers! And young citizens engaged in organised and legal graffiti. 18. That there was no Gay and Retrenched contingent at NDP 2003 19. That many watching NDP 2003 were looking for other aspects of Singapore's loosening up, after seeing the spontaneous display of planned breakdancing and organised graffiti, but were disappointed when the giant bar-tops with gyrating dancers did not show up on the field. 20. That everyone was looking forward to the exciting two and a half minutes long of fireworks at the NDP, except for the poor sod who was taking a dump in the loo when it happened and missed the whole thing. Wow, a whole two and a half minutes. That's one long fireworks session, man. 21. That at one segment of the NDP, balls made to look like heads (yes, smiling human heads), which represented various jobs, were made to roll down the stadium... Thanks for reminding us of the falling headcounts and heads rolling in companies everywhere. 22. That DPM Lee Hsien Loong reassured workers that restructuring the wage system will not mean an across-the-board wage cut. But BG Yeo says, "The pressure is across the board because of the large number of skilled workers, technicians, engineers, programmers and others from these countries who are prepared to do the same work for much less money." So you will not get wage cuts but you will do the same work for much less money. Got it. 23. That if you get on the through train plan offered by NJC and enter Junior College at Secondary 3, skip the O Levels, and go direct to do the A Levels, and you fail, you will be one of the elite group of 18-year-olds with only PSLE as your highest qualification. On the Express Train of Education, it will be like your friends took the NEL to HarbourFront and you got off at Buangkok. 24. That there is a new word in town, with a wealth of meanings: "Buangkok". Buangkok: verb; To reach a dead end, or to make an annoucement of bad news at the last minute. "I was on the through train to academic success but along the way, I failed too many exams, my academic career got derailed, and I buangkoked". "The constituents were looking forward to the improvements to their public transport, but at the last moment, the bus company buangkoked that they will be cutting the services." Buangkok: noun; a white elephant, or a lame excuse "The Second Link is, to this day, a buangkok." "Don't give me any buangkoks for not handing in your homework, you sly crafty fox!" 25. That unions are supposed to work quietly behind the scenes so that the companies retrenching workers can save face and not lose business from the adverse publicity of retrenching workers. Thus saving jobs of those who were not axed. "Singapore Unions: Fighting Quietly to Save the Jobs of Your Friends". By Lee Kin Mun (Copyright 2003) Monday, September 08, 2003
::::madness quizzes::::  You're depressed. Really you are. And you definitely have a reason. You often space out and stare at things blankly, even if you're normally hyper and energetic. This is because nothing really seems important anymore. You might just be sad right now, or you might be manic depressive. Don't worry. Have some cocoa and stuff'll be ok. How Depressed are You? brought to you by Quizilla  You are the Docile Donkey, You take problems as it is, nothing really bothers you, and you don't let anything make you feel different, but there is always the little things that bother you, when they do, you react in ways that people will be mortified to see. See you on the 10'o'clock news. What anger personality do you have? brought to you by Quizilla Sunday, September 07, 2003
::::he has a song for me....!:::: "Lady, are you crying, do the tears belong to me Did you think our time together was all gone Lady, you've been dreaming, I'm as close as I can be And I swear to you our time has just begun Close your eyes and rest your weary mind I promise I will stay right here beside you Today our lives were joined, became entwined I wish that you could know how much I love you Lady, are you happy, do you feel the way I do Are there meanings that you've never seen before Lady, my sweet lady, I just can't believe it's true And it's like I've never, ever loved before" guess who sang it? hehe btw, i can sms him!! and vice versa!!! sooooo goddamned happy........ i went to the zoo with 5 little cute monkeys to the zoo to see the monkeys... (haha) yesterday.... met them at 9.30, and one of the parents drove all 7 of us to the zoo. from woodlands to mandai is really very fast! bort the tics at 9.48am... went in at about 9.50am.... all of them were so shyyyy..... sigh... den walk here walk there..... so tiring.... took so many pictures of animals and spiders and iguanas...... had up-close-and personal with: 1. mr. iguana in the reptile trail..... he decided to plonk himself right in the middle of the path RIGHT at the entrance....... resulting in the 5 monkeys not daring to go in and clogging up the entrance.... so i had to go in first and it was sooooo funny to see the carefully walk AROUND the stupit scaly thing......... the next person coming in ALMOST stepped on mr.reptillian........ i had to go "hello! hello!! helloo??!?" and when i got his (the human, not the reptile) attention, i pointed to the reptile right at his feet and he got a huge shock..... and jumped a step back...... (lol)... and he said "thank u..." (blush blush) AHAHAHAHAh felt like roaring with laughter there and then.... but hmmm.... im not that bad....... 2. a two toe tree sloth...... he was just hanging on a small tree NEXT to the kids and they couldnt see him...... took awhile for their eyes to adjust......... 3. mr goatee.... i duno how he managed to escape from the enclosure in the children's zoo......... but he looked amused... and posed for my camera...... i was cautious tho... coz he might just decide to bang me or eat my camera strap or something.... yeah.. i was THAT close.... lucky he didnt smell...... 4. many spiders...... gawd... there must be like 1000000000 spiderwebs in the zoo! 5. butterflies...... they seem to like to stick themselves to humans...... and the kids seem to be terrified of them...... i wonder why.......... 6. kitten......... yes... kitten........ WTF is a kitten doin on the zoooo???? it was just left at an exhibit of the Asmat tribe, people of the rainforest...... it was tossing and turning in a fruit basket and biting off the skin of a toy onion....... the kids went off to look for a zookeeper but couldnt find any... i had to call the zoo (good to have their hotline stored in ur mobile) to send someone to get the kitten coz many people were already thinking of stuffin it into their own bags...... i managed to coax it into my arms and the kids were higly amused and each of them wanted to stroke the panic-stricken mewing chicken...err i mean KITTEN......... a female indian zookeeper came and i passed the kitten to her... she didnt looked pleased that i was carrying it... but WTF i didnt pinch it from any exhibit....... so fuck her..... me, being nice, said thank u to her anyway even tho I WAS doing the favor..... she just gave a fake smile and walked off.... B-I-T-C-H the kids asked why couldnt they bring it home.... and i said their are many other kittens outside the zoo... it doesnt have to be THIS one.. besides, there is high chance that mommy cat is around and there are other orphaned kittens out there waiting to go to good homes..... hmm... come to think of it, maybe they breed cats to feed to the bigger cats (the lions... etc)... ooo... we took our lunch at KFC..... after that the monkeys played at the playground..... only the eldest boy (12 yrs old) decided that he was too old to run around like other monkeys........ the kids only warmed up to one another after lunch....... we walked walked walked walked.....and then we walked walked walked again...... ah well......... i suddenly lost interest in typing........ hmmm... maybe should mention the dream i had last nite....... i dreamt of him again.... and this time in the dream, the feelings were so intense... i missed him SOOOOO much... i woke up with pillow drenched with my tears again............. sigh....... byebye |