huge, empty space where an irritating fly lives in.....devoid of all feelings......
Archives
Sunday, January 04, 2004
::::19 and a half days::::
im suddenly very lost and empty.......
mi mind's like a void.... numb and empty.........
i love you, G.....
i miss you alot........
these 19.5 days were the happiest in these 6 months since u first left....
i cant believe we did not leave each other's side for once in these 19.5 days....
ive not done this with anyone before........
i want to be strong.
i want to be with you again.
i miss u..............
i miss u alot........
i miss u alot...................... posted by Inoriz at 7:33 PM
Tuesday, December 30, 2003
::::happy new yr::::
things to do in 2004 (not in any order):
- japanese intermediate course and i will MAKE SURE i get in top ten in school.........
- bike driving license (i just registered and classes start on the day he leaves....)
- buy a second hand scooter to scoot benji around
- do animal grooming and dog training
- do freelance graphic design
- get more tuition students
- find other part time jobs....
- fill up all my days and nights...
- continue piano grade 6 (ok mayb have to go back to grade 4)
- ignore MDM LIM
- seek legal advise on passport
- convince dad to throw or sell away the other stupid bed in my room....
- save up for wedding and getting my butt OUT.......
- write a book (hahahaha.. im serious)
- before writing a book, i need a TABLE.........
- therefore the bed has to go so i will have space
- treat benji better.. he loves me so much.... i must match his love and hopefully when i get the scooter, he can go everywhere i go...........
- treat Nut better... give him more tofu and treats......
- i cant 'filter friends' coz i got so few friends n they are all that makes life worth living other than my pets, my students and my husband-to-be......... all my friends are important... thats y i am considering going to the chalet they are organising... *sniggers*
- read more books! improve ur bloody english!
- stand my ground that i am NOT looking for full time 9 to 5 kinda jobs... coz i think thats not having a life.. and im only 20...........
- sleep late, wake early.. (dont waste time sleeping... when i sleep, i dont make money...)
as much as i loathe it, money is ALWAYS a problem.....
i need the bike so i can get more jobs done in a shorter time.... and more jobs done mean more income.. and being self-employed in singapore means u have to have ur own transport.. coz ive tried and tested and u cant rely on public transport...... it takes wayyyyyyyyyy tooooooooooooo long coz it's DELIBRATELY INEFFICIENT (the smarter ones would have found this out long ago)
the reason why he cant be here is coz of money.....
the reason i cant be there is coz of a certain MDM LIM.
but whilst im here anyway, i will earn that money WITHOUT the so-called 'establishing ur career'.. and hell i will make sure i earn more than an office job would pay and i wont even need to pay tax or contribute to CPF (which is a scam and people of my age have 50 yrs to retirement supposing they are not planning to migrate.. pls think of this... the govt EATS part of ur pay... CLAIMING they are SAVING IT FOR U and will give it back to u when u retire - i think for my generation, people will have to retire at 70yrs or more... and WAR is coming.... in 10 yrs time...* -those reading this and laughing at me for writing the last sentence, pls open ur eyes before it's too late and start to plan coz big brother is doing weird things.... n by the time it becomes obvious, many people would have lost their lives when they start to wake up..... so if u r laughing at me, i will laugh back at u when it happens...*
so when war comes, the FIRST people to SCOOT is the people who behave the OPPOSITE of Aragon in LOTR.......
dont understand?
ok...
Aragon is the KING and we all know it since LOTR 1....
and KINGS, fight TOGETHER with the soldiers.........
NOT hide BEHIND the soldiers...........
compare Aragon (he is fictional but thats the way Kings or PEOPLE IN POWER should behave)............ to the PEOPLE IN POWER we have here...
i dont see the *person who was going to rise in power* FIGHT in the frontline in WW2....perhaps, if Lim Bo Seng didnt die, he would have been the PERSON IN POWER...
but that is, IF he is also a freema***...............
but yeah... what im tryin to say is, ur money will disappear before u can say 'holy cow!' when lasers rain down on u and when invisible soldiers invade ur homes.....
perhaps u may say 'why bother about ur money if there is war? u cant use money in war'
HAHAHAHAHAH tht is EXACTLY what MDM LIM said to me....... and i was only 18 yrs old when i pointed out to her.......
why dont all of u go think about it?
just few weeks back, i had to deposit 2 cheques into my account...
no choice coz they were crossed...
i deposited the cheques on a thursday.........
and when i tried to use my atm card to pay bills on SATURDAY NITE, i couldnt.
so i checked the account n found out i had:
legal balance: $324
available balance: $74
right.....
so it took more than 2 days to put in my money?
and it's not as if THEY DIDNT GET THE CHEQUE YET COZ THAT $250 WAS IN MY LEGAL BALANCE ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what im tryin to say is, THIS MONEY IS MINE.... NOT THE BANK'S.........
WHY AM I STOPPED FROM USING MY OWN MONEY AS AND WHEN I NEED IT?
WHAT IF.... WHAT IF there was an emergency?
anyway, my account has only $1.37 now...
the 'interests' that they offer is PER ANNUM n it's so bloody insignificant........id rather forgo that teeny amount and HAVE MY SAVINGS WITH ME... rather than leaving them in someplace which is the FIRST to close their doors when emergencies happen (read: war)
and they only work till 3pm everyday! WOW! easy living, easy cash!
if not for people who insist on paying me by cheque, i would have closed my account long ago...........
i wish my country people would start to open eyes and wake up....
and sadly, MDM LIM doesnt see...
only my dad sees.
im just sorry for my sister who would lose her mom soon.
ive decided from today onwards, THAT WOMAN will no longer be known as M-U-M.
she will be referred to as MDM LIM... coz i dont want to refer to her as a BITCH or WITCH for my own protection (u never know if spies and snoopers for her may stumble across this blog and she decides to sue me for defamation.)
we met my dad and MDM LIM today......
and she... was a RECTUM.... (being polite here) and what comes out of rectums? yes.... FEACES............
G said my dad was in a difficult position....
and i told him....
'he is in a difficult position coz HE MADE HIMSELF get into that position..... NO ONE can put u in ANY position except YOURSELF..........'
my dad has no backbone and MDM LIM ACCUSED me of 'twiddling ur dad around your thumb'.......
pls... SPEAK FOR YOUR OWN SELF, MDM LIM!
her attitude, SUCKS.
i thot G gave her tooooooooooooo much face.
ive wasted my time at MDM LIM's house.. and G has wasted his money coming back.... really...
next month, i will be in my 21st yr....
u see what i can do, MDM LIM....
u just wait and see.....
im not goin to SIT HERE AND ALLOW U TO BREAK ME.........
as the police ASP had said "if u continue to be like this, u will lose a daughter and she will lose a mother"
as far as im concerned, all my friends, i DONT HAVE a mother...
so pls dont come askin me 'hows ur mom?' coz i dont have any.....
uhhh............. ok.. im am back to blogging... i cant have access to the comp everyday tho.................
just an update....
-i have diarrhoea... (shat last nite at 11pm, this morn at 3am, 7am and latest at 11.30am.....) i ate the cannon ball pills already......... and will drink lotsa water.. so rest assured..........
-ive been going to many peoples' houses or having dinners at restaurants during this holiday season.... his aunt's place, sue's place (which is more impt to me coz all my frens were there that nite... -most of them la), dinner with his aunt and her husband and her two sons (one with the wife) and his mother, father, all 3 brothers and sis in law at some chinese restaurant in tiong bahru....... and last nite went to his dad's ex-collegue's friend's house....
i like this man....
he has 2 grandsons (the family is eurasian.. the brownish kinda eurasian).. and one boy (i think 7 yrs old or so) named Dylan.... SOOOOOO GOOOD LOOKING!!!!!!!! (felt like kidnapping him.. kekkekekekekekek)
but the man (uncle T), is very nice... a very good host... and the food was good too~ *hungry now*
-my comp has been repaired by his 2nd brother....... he managed to scan and kill off 600 over viruses...................... (phwaoooorrr!!!!!!!)...
before u all think i got it from porn sites, im sorry.... u r wrong........... i got it from kazaaaaa......
-ive been shuttling to and fro EVERYDAY... to timmi and lasse's place and to benji........ and back again to his place.............
just to walk them and feed them and make sure they are fine altho my dad takes good care of Benji..... (sometimes he fed benji and i didnt know.. so benji gets to eat twice and he will bang his head against the wall coz i always give better food than my dad does.. and since he ate earlier, he cant eat much anymore... ahahhahahha)
i miss benji.....and his irritating-ness... (i can fully understand why timmi and lasse dont like him.. HAHAHHAHAHA)
ok..........
i hope my stomach cools down and stops producing watery shits.... (actually that will be the job of the intestines and rectum.... hmMMmmMMMmm)
that PIG is still sleepin...
suppose to wake at 9am.. and it's now 12.20pm.........
later we gonna meet THE Ps.............. (figure that out.. and no... it's not the police)
i need my life back..... posted by Inoriz at 11:36 PM
::::the 'taxi' in my house::::
for the first time in my life, i heard my granny tryin to call Benji....
but what came out from her mouth instead was 'TAXI!'
actually sounds more like 'Sexy~' or 'Kek-see~' or maybe even 'Lassie~'
anyway, the taxi has learnt how to do a self-service pat....
he will push my hand away from the keyboard with his head and expect me to pat him......
his tail never stops wagging.... he is a TOO-HAPPY doggie... like maybe high on ecstasy or sumthin'.....
or maybe the mechanism in his tail is spoilt... will ask the vet when i go with my darling.
my dad threw out the carpet....
just as well..... it's mouldy and smelly and growing mushrooms.
i cant shit!!!!!!!
kek-sai for 2 days already........ i hope the sai comes out tonite.......
i keep farting tho... bathing myself in my own fart..... *delicious* hHAHahHAhahHAHahha *mmfff*
the dog show was an eye opener....
altho ive been to one a yr ago, i was only loitering around the obedience and the agility trials.....
never watched the confirmation shows before....
hmmMMmmmMm...
the only stacking i'd do for benji is to stack his shit, one piece on top of another, and for me to stack on top of him to snooze.......
AHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA
ok.. those show people/dogs, dont ah bish ah bish me........
i just bort two doggie books....
gonna digest them soon~
my darling is coming back in less than 24 hrs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my birthday is in less than 48 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahah i bort the trilogy of dave pelzer's..
3-in-1 book from kino! only about $25!!!!!!!
went shopping with K.T today~ and saw something i want~
wishlist:
1. Body Shop White Musk (Eau De Toilette) *note: this is a perfume and not a toilet cleaner... BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA*
the 30ml bottle is $21.90 and the 60ml is $29.90....
hmMmmm... i think the 60ml is more value for money yeah?
sigh... im so smelly... some mild perfume like this will help LOL~
2. discman/ MD player... *HOW CAN I FORGET THIS????* im dying w/o musik........................................................
3. The five people you meet in heaven by Mitch Albom
i dont wan the dictionary already... LOL~
4. this is something only ONE person can give me....
that is, a huge hug and a kiss from G......on my bday~ and on xmas.......
i just wanna be in his arms....
help me look out for petsitters for the lil devil will ya?
